I was actually going to write about something else for V. Then I had a thought. Which led to another thought. Which led to yet another thought. Let’s face it, once you lose your virginity, you don’t think about it much. Most people think about it a lot before they lose it.
I remember the discussions with friends in high school. I consider myself lucky that I never felt pressured by my friends at all to lose it. Quite frankly, none of the guys I dated in high school was worth it. I was definitely into them at the time, but I wasn’t ready. I had it pounded into my head by the church to wait until marriage. Then, when I was sexually assaulted in college it put me off for a long time. Nothing like a good ol’ flashback to ruin the mood. Ya know? Yes, it was a horrible experience. But looking back, it kept me from making some impulsive decisions that I could have made at the time. Young + living on your own for the first time = some pretty rash choices. Most of the guys I was involved with in college weren’t worth it either.
Most women have an emotional component associated with sex, as I believe we should. For most men, especially the young ones, it can easily be just about the act itself. Get huffy all you want. Most of my friends were always males. I heard more than once what they thought about sex.
I also had no idea what to expect for the first time. No one really tells you. It’s a closely guarded secret like the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices.
A friend in college gave me the low down one night. I don’t even remember how it came up. It wasn’t pretty either. Visions of pain and tearing, well, that alone is enough to keep someone from doing something stupid too soon. And you know what? She was spot on. I wasn’t expecting her to be right. I just remembered after the fact that everything she told me was true. Made me glad that I wasn’t in a hurry to lose my virginity.
It’s not a decision to make lightly or rashly. It needs careful consideration, weighing ALL the options and the risks. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.