“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.” ~Richard from Texas, Eat Pray Love
This statement really struck home with me as I was reading Eat Pray Love during my break at work. If you’ve read the book, you know the context of the statement, which gives more meaning to it. Even if you haven’t read the book you can glean some context from it.
How many of us have met a person, or two, or three. Heck maybe more. That person just blew you away. They seemed like they were just made for you and they awakened dreams within you that you thought were .dead. They shook you down to your core and made you confront yourself. They lit that fire in your soul that was fading out. They reminded you of who you are in the depths of your heart and urged you subtly (just by being them) to be the heart of you.
When Chaz and I moved from being friends to more than friends, we called each other soul mates. Only we aren’t the type that Richard from Texas talks about. Richard means that soul mates aren’t meant to be with each other forever. “Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.”
You know, like that saying that some people are in our lives for a season and some are in our lives for a reason. Soul mates are in our lives for a season and a reason. They have a purpose to fulfill and then they are gone. They make such an impact on our lives (that they may not even realize) that it is difficult to deal with the loss once they leave no matter the circumstances of their departure.
Following Richard’s definition of a soul mate, I can count two that have come into my life. Both in college. The first one actually made me see myself having kids. I was looking at my kitchen/bathroom sink (I lived in a studio apartment at the time) and I had a vision of him doing dishes and a little girl next to him in a yellow dress and dark curls just like his. I never actually saw myself with him. He was a great guy and perhaps that little girl wasn’t my own, but one he would have in the future. In that moment, though, it felt like it she was mine. Up until that vision, I did not want kids.
The second one brought back that spark in my soul I thought I lost when I was sexually assaulted. I felt alive again. I felt like me. I was whole again. I had my fire back. I was going to be okay. Forget that. I was more than okay. I knew whatever life held for me in the future, I would meet it head on. I would never let anything keep me down again. No hiding in my shell or building walls to hide behind. Bring it on. I also felt for the first time in a long time, “loved” (if you could call it love) as a person and not wanted as an object.
I owe a thank you to these two men. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am who I am and want what I want today in part to the role you played in my life.