Patience Is A Virtue Not Being Taught

02 Jun

A butterfly from the Butterflies of Japan exhibit

I was introduced to Krohn Conservatory’s yearly Butterfly Show last year when it was Butterflies of Japan.  Chaz and his chado friends were asked to do tea demos during special night of the exhibit.  I was glad I went in to take pictures when I did because I wound up being recruited to help make the matcha and serve samples during each of the demos.  I didn’t get a chance to just hang out and watch all the butterflies. Nor did I get a chance to take pictures of the demos since I was so busy serving tea and the accompanying sweets.

I’ve found myself with several weekend days off lately to enjoy time with Chaz.  This is very rare that we both

Blue Morpho in flight, the only time you can see their pretty colors.

have a day off together. I asked him on Sunday if he would want to go to the Butterflies of Brazil exhibit at the Conservatory before it ends later this month.  He just kinda hemmed and hawed.  I took that as a no and planned to go on my own.

I saw a bus pulling away and group of kids out front as I drove around back to park. There was another group arriving as I walked around. I thought to myself, “Oh great. I came at the wrongtime.”  One of the volunteers mentioned that there were two school groups and that every weekday they had school groups coming through.  Well, I guess there isn’t a right time.  Crowded on the weekdays and crowded on the weekends when parents are carting their kids

Butterflies were all over people.

around to keep them busy.

I admit, I freaked out walking into the exhibit with a bunch of screaming kids running around. First off, if people are coming in my home (however temporary it may be) I don’t like them screaming.  Secondly, I remember butterflies landing on the ground last year and with kids running around not paying attention to what is on the ground, I feared for their safety.

What I observed other than the screaming and running, was a lot of grabbing and trying to climb into foliage to get to the butterflies.  By the kids andadults. I can understand kids getting caught up in the

This one kept flying around. It finally stayed in one place long enough for me to snap this.

excitement. But, the adults, too?  I even witnessed a grandmother screaming at her grandson to stop screaming. I was more taken aback by her screaming than his. Probably because his blended in with all the other kids screaming.

I had quite a few butterflies landing on me while I was there.  Even though I was taking pictures, I was quiet and still in one place for long periods of time. Quite the opposite of the chaos whirling around me. I even had a kid grab one off my arm and then ask if she could take it. The butterfly wasn’t happy and flew back on my arm and held on tighter. I could feel the pinching. Then, the kid grabbed for it again!  Aiya.

It made me wonder if any of the adults had prepared the children for the exhibit.  How to be still, quiet, and patient. Or even try a little empathy of, “How would you like it if someone came to your home running around, screaming and grabbing at you every 10 seconds?”  I’m pretty sure most of the kids there would have said they wouldn’t like it. They were old enough to process that. In fact, many times I had to control my urges to say just that to the kids running around grabbing at the butterflies around me.  I even wanted to tell them if they’d just be still, be quiet, and be patient, the butterflies would come to them and hang out for a bit.

Patience is just not something you see anymore.  There is no need with our society today.  Fast food.  Cheats on video games.  Microwave meals.  Ready-to-wear clothes.  Call ahead seating.  Instant messages.  FASTPASS at Disney so there is no more waiting in long lines for many of the rides. There really is no incentive to be patient in this culture.  I find that sad.  We lose the joy of actually making things from scratch, be it in the kitchen, garage or craft room and passing our knowledge on to the next generation. We miss out on creating fun moments waiting in lines with friends/family.  We lost respect for others (and other living organisms) because our lack of patience means we put ourselves first.

We forgot that it is okay to be still and be quiet and to teach that to the next generation.



Posted by on June 2, 2011 in Uncategorized


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4 responses to “Patience Is A Virtue Not Being Taught

  1. Patricia

    June 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    There’s also value in being patient and waiting for the unexpected. My kids, particularly my older one, are constantly asking “What are we going to do next?” “What are we eating for dinner?” “What’s next?” This really irritates me and I tell them not everything can be planned and known. Learn to be patient and just see what happens. Let go!

    • hunterslyonesse

      June 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm

      Awesome, Patricia. Any other ways you throw in lessons on patience for them?

  2. random ntrygg

    June 2, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    Patience is a double edged sword – to be patient, one must be content within themselves – and we aren’t good at at anymore – we look to be distracted and instanted engaged or entertained – I think we are running away from ourselves, not trusting our instincts, our thoughts our very selves. We can be patient in pursuit of many goals, but not trust outself to be alone with our thoughts. Patience comes with wisdom and self esteem.

    • hunterslyonesse

      June 3, 2011 at 4:48 am

      I don’t necessarily see it as a two edged sword. I know lots of kids and younger people who display more patience than some adults I know and it has nothing to do with being content within themselves, wisdom, or self-esteem. I saw a lot of impatience and disrespect from adults as well as kids at the exhibit. Kids will emulate what is role modeled for them without understanding why they are even doing it.. If the adults are modeling patience consistently in front of the kids, the kids will follow suit. Kids are a lot more perceptive that we give them credit for. If we aren’t consistent, they aren’t going to see the point in doing it and will then not demonstrate patience. If we haven’t learned this at a young age, then yes, it takes time to cultivate it in ourselves as we get older.


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