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Judge Not

19 Aug

Stick shared this article on Facebook yesterday.  If you don’t feel like clicking on the link I’ll try to sum it up quickly.  Should women wear their engagement rings to job interviews?  Apparently some interviewers take engagement ring size into account during a job interview.  And fellow females, it’s not to our benefit when it happens.

Women are constantly judged.  Mostly by other women.  Sometimes I feel like it’s a crabs in a bucket syndrome, pulling each other down because we can’t let anyone out if we can’t get out ourselves.

We are judged for working instead of marrying and having kids.  Marrying and not having kids. Having kids and staying home to rear them instead of working.  Following our spouses/partners/significant others instead of being independent. Not reading the latest parenting book and following all the guidelines to the T. Not looking our best while wrangling a gaggle of children all day long.

Now this.  The size of our engagement rings.  Honestly, I think it’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard all week.  Except for the things my friend, JP, says.  But that’s another category of stupid.

While employers may not admit that they do this or that they may think the woman doesn’t need a job with a large engagement ring, large being relative, no one knows their circumstances.  If a woman is interviewing she wants and/or needs to work and shouldn’t be denied that opportunity based on the size of a diamond ring she wears when so many people refuse to work. Some women are not involved in the choosing of their ring so they don’t have a say in the carats.  This is something their significant other has chosen for them as a symbol of their love in exchange for a promise to marry.  Yes, there are people who have ginormous rings that can be seen as just a status symbol.  Those people are the minority.

If you happen to be someone who interviews and doesn’t like large rings think about this.  What if this woman is re-entering the workforce because her husband lost his job and can’t find work?  What if this woman is in an abusive marriage and is trying to gain some independence in order to gain a foothold to leave her partner?  What if her significant other passed away and she had to sell everything but the ring in order to pay funeral expenses and debt?  What if the ring is the only family heirloom passed down through the generations?

I agree that we need to look presentable when interviewing for a job. It was something I looked at when interviewing others, but as a whole picture and not picking out things like size of engagement rings.  When you work for a company, your overall presentation of self is a reflection of the company. However, the size of your diamond is between you and your spouse.  No one else.

We have been judged and judge each other for far too long.  As women, we have never had more freedoms and rights as we do now.  Some women in the world still struggle for equality and while we might complain about glass ceilings in America, we still have it good. As women, we need to rise up together and stand together and not keep pulling each other down with petty little differences just because you might think another woman is a little too this or too much that or the size of their ring is bigger than your own.  How can we expect to gain true equality and have others respect that equality when we work hard to keep others down by judging them?

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Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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